If States Were People… This Would Be Their Health (STATE FAN-FICTION!)

New Hampshire jogs with Vermont. The line that looks like a tail shows where it’s come from. This was New Hampshire’s fourth longest run (nine miles) and the longest run Vermont had ever done.
Rhode Island becomes the first state to beat Alaska in basketball. It’s amazing because RI is so small and AK is so big. The other states are shocked by RI’s win. It juggles winner balls (balls with a “W” that states get when they win basketball).
California learns a lesson not to eat too much chocolate and ice cream on weekends because, at the end of the weekend, CA has eaten 800 meals of chocolate and ice cream only and gotten a little overweight.
  • He eats lots of unhealthy food and crackers and ice cream and chocolates. He doesn’t only eat unhealthy stuff. He also eats gross stuff, like unused toilet paper and wood. He got toxic mold when eating hay that Oklahoma had given him for horses. That’s how you get toxic mold: from eating hay.
  • After having a secret meeting with Louisiana, Texas caught covid-19. Coronavirus left him with gallbladder disease. When he recovered and had it removed, he had several not-so-bad colds.
  • When he was a baby, Texas had lots of hearing problems and had hearing loss. He also had dysentery for three years.
  • When Texas was 20, which was his worst year in health, he had MRSA, pneumonia, loss of teeth, and a cerebral hemorrhage. The year after that, one of its counties (Roberts County) caught frostbite from having a secret meeting with Alaska.
  • Texas also has toomanycountiesarias, which is what causes a state to have too many counties.
  • Texas’s two biggest ailments are being morbidly obese and severe health problems. We’ve listed so many ailments; we just have to say he had 30 other ailments…
Texas has a smoking party with bordering states (though New Mexico doesn’t smoke). Texas thinks it is the best state so it is wearing a badge saying “Best State.” Louisiana has put “LA” in its hair.
  • She has some small heart problems, a respiratory failure for 10 seconds, and walking-tabakci (which means you cannot walk fast).
  • Georgia can also get very angry from a disease called dam, which spelled backward is “mad.” For example, if Georgia wanted an apple but we’d run out of apples, Georgia might groan and yell, “Go to the store and buy some apples! And cookies! So go now.”
  • Georgia has also had rabies, pneumonia, flu, and Parkinson’s Disease.
Georgia, Alabama, and South Carolina are arguing. Georgia really wants the others to go to the store to get her more oranges, but the store is all the way up in Michigan and it would take 12 hours to get there, so they say no. Georgia says, “You are so so mean!!!” Alabama replies, “No, you’re mean!!” South Carolina tells Georgia, “You’re so dumb!” Florida loves seeing states argue; this is the best day of her life.
This is Kansas grinning with grinaphobia.




I am an eight year old who’s interested in presidents and history. I’m posting some of my favorite lists for you!

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Langston Jones: Kid Historian

Langston Jones: Kid Historian

I am an eight year old who’s interested in presidents and history. I’m posting some of my favorite lists for you!

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